Much awaited dawn

Alright, alright, so i flunked again. Yeah, i did.
Working for late hours, long days and endless weeks. But for some odd reason, it doesn't seem like a long time that there days weren't merging together so often. Now i have it i can't even remember what i had for lunch yesterday, or for that matter who i had to call-back. But that's just my way of excusing myself from the responsibility. And to say that i wasn't responsible for all this would also mean that i was irresponsible. The good side of things is that my family and friends insist that it was probably for the best, and Allah works in mysterious ways. And i completely agree with it all, and without disagreeing with that i think there is also a flip side to such observations. (that last word is soooo accountant-like)
Nonetheless, my stand on such matters will, Allah willing, be a little different. Though i know my destiny is written, and my fate decided, and the who and the what already written about the curling pages of my life, yet the how... It is the how that i'm concerned about. And the how that i will hopefully write about while i'm here in my two minute of break, looking for some semblance of a normal existence. (don't get me wrong, i'm not locked in a dungeon or a tower, i'm just stuck in a profession that i'm not really fond of.)
a note to the critics: ofcourse this isn't coherent i'm not writing in one straight sitting, nor in one frame of mind. :P
Now where was i, hmmm, completely lost my train of thought.
I need to do one more thing, to take a stand on things, broad shoulders, and take responsibility of the fact which has been so evident to most around me from day one, and to me for some time. I'm not really made for this profession, i have file work, abhor desk jobs, and am absolutely in love with constant change, which i get the least in this job. Instead it's composed of bald old men, with no family life, the social life of a corpse constantly trying to make the better of us weird clones.
Better luck next time. Sounds like such a cliche, but remains one of the most said phrases at result time. Been there done that, didn't like it much.
And so, tomorrow a new day will dawn, another sunrise, another dawn, another wonderful morning, which will be missed because i... I will be asleep because i returned home an hour before the much awaited dawn.